say, "If you greet only your friend, what do you do more than an
unbeliever?"
I spent a recent morning past, and most of the same afternoon hours, climbing a mountain with a visiting friend. While I tried my best to time it so I'd be back for a meeting, I thought it more prudent not to rush the experience and as a result, I was late in getting to where I was going. But it was one of the few times I could admit that it was worth it. Here's why:
This friend of mine I've known since high school. He isn't a
Christian, yet he's one of the people I can trust in my life with
anything, any topic of discussion, and he's always willing to
challenge and explore an issue. We were talking about talking, and
writing, and communication, and the importance of honesty in
relationships, all over some hours of hiking so I'm editing a lot, but
at some point we touched upon the terminology of "introvert and
extrovert" each of us being somewhat representative of the two
extremes.
This friend of mine meets new people wherever he goes. He's the first
to enter into new activities and experiences, he welcomes strangers
and readily includes any and everyone at all times in all things
finding every aspect of human interaction invigorating, whereas, in
stark contrast, I find that without conscious effort I can let days
pass without any interpersonal communication of any type transpiring
between myself and another human being outside of the confines of the
internet, and when in the company of more than one or two I'm happy to
be silent unless called upon, and happier still to leave if the
encounter has proved particularly exhausting, as such circumstances
often are for me though I have the capacity to hide it well.
I've often used "introversion" as an easy excuse for my unwillingness
to reach out, say hello, meet new people, etc. Then, at my friend's
persistent questioning, I began to explore exceptions to that
convenient rule: in teaching children - it's hard to remain
introverted, so I engage in "edutainment" which isn't too much of a
stretch considering I went to a dramatic arts high school (with said
friend) and have been a part of a number of dramatic endeavors over
the years - also, in personal training, which was my livelihood before
teaching while pursuing acting, and I was an encourager then, and as
animated an individual for my clients as each relationship
necessitated. This revelation led to the confession that to some
degree, introversion and extroversion are choices, or formed habits,
each with their own place in the teachings of Jesus.
The problem I have to face is, in learning this, how responsible have I become? In sharing it with you, how far do you now go? Any thoughts? You needn't tell me, but I hope there are.
- TPK
Hey there, TPK. I can relate to what you're saying a great deal. I used to prefer to be a silent listener (aka bystander) during social engagements and normally shyed away from circumstances that would lend themselves to polite conversation.
ReplyDeleteOnce, I was on my way to my daughters' gymnastics class and I found myself thinking, I hope there is a nice lonely chair somewhere in the "viewing room" so I can sit and read my book. I do not want to have to end up sitting and talking to the other parents. I really am not up for it.
Jesus asked me, "why not? what are you afraid of?" I thought about it. I didn't think of it as fear but I supposed there was a strong aversion to said scenario.
"I don't know what to say. I feel like it's up to me to try to protray You or to "witness" or something."
"It's not up to you. It's up to Me. It has never been up to you."
I began to realize that, all my years of evangelical upbringing had had a subtle effect on my relating with others. Now I'm not at all saying that this is the case for every quiet person out there . . . but it played a big part for me.
As I neared my exit, I realized, Father is the one who is up to something. He is the one who is after the hearts of men and women across the planet, including my daughters' gymnastics class. So I simply prayed, "Father, I know you're up to something. If there is anything that I could say ~ any way I could be a part of what You're doing, I'd love to experience that. I can't wait to see what You're going to do."
No more onus on me. Just a willing participant.
J.
I teach the Jungian types. They are not learned behaviors. They are psychological preferences with which we are born. Now, can we learn to take on the characteristics of the opposite type (understanding that it is not a bi-polar construct but a continuum -- one is more or less introverted, more or less extroverted, not either introverted or extroverted, except in a very few extreme cases)? Yes, we can. I am a strong Thinker who has lived and worked in a Feeling part of the world, and I can adopt the behaviors that are expected from Feelers. But deep down, I am still a Thinker, and I am most comfortable with Thinkers and in Thinking environments. Ditto for the other types, such as introversion or extroversion. So, yes, you can "become" more extroverted, but expect to become tired from doing it at great lengths of time because you will be working against your natural proclivities and you will need down time to re-fuel. It is natural. And there is nothing wrong with introversion. It is a valid type, and your choice to spend the extra time with your friend is an example of a good characteristic of introversion: deep, rather than shallow, friendships. An extrovert would more likely have been pulled to dash away to that meeting. I think you should value who you are, adapt as needed for specific situations, but know that what you are at heart is good.
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